Ever Loving, Ever Leaving
by Burnee14
Summary: Delena's end-scene in 5x18. Just a cute little story about their thoughts and feelings./One-shot/ *Please Read and Review* xx


**Hey all! Thanks for clicking on my story, it means a lot! If you like this little snippet then go check out my other, longer fics. Please review and leave any comments that you think apply! Happy Reading- Burnee xx**

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**_Elena's POV_**

I needed to speak to Damon. The traveller's spell was broken and the visions that Stefan and I shared were now non-existent. We had each been shown an alternate reality, one that could never be real, yet it was perfect in every way possible. I had got married, had kids and even been able to cook, but it wasn't real and nor would it ever be. I had to realise that. My reality was here and now, in mystic falls; the travellers were invading our town, Katherine was dead and the other-side was imploding. And there was Damon. The brother that I had never set out to love. He was the man that thought he deserved nothing, a man that had done terrible things and a man that had given me his heart. We never stood a chance.

I take the stairs up to his room, not meaning anything by it, but after everything Stefan and I had discussed in front of the fire that had born witness to my many ups and downs, I needed to see and talk to him. My thoughts whirl around in my head, filled with confusion and doubt. What were the travellers doing here? Why did they need me and Stefan? Why does everyone I love always get hurt? They do all of it to protect me; Alaric, Jenna and John even gave their lives to stop whatever evil was about to kill me. It was my fault they died. I killed my own mum, dad, because I selfishly paid them no heed, I was a monster. I wasn't good for anyone and I can't bare the thought of hurting anyone else, especially Damon. If I hurt him, I would never forgive myself.

Standing, I can hear Damon coming up the stairs. I know I have to let him go. No matter how hard or painful, I must cut the relationship, because it's the only way to keep him safe. I would miss the smile that only graced his lips in my presence, the laugh that tickled up when I made a joke and the look of pure love and desire that he saved just for me, shining out of his beautifully clear eyes. He reached the doorway and temporarily froze, clearly not expecting me here, before leaning carelessly against the doorframe. I pictured him, arms crossed, frown in place, not being able to help his gaze from wondering to my form.

"_I think we need some rules here, because if I'm not allowed to drive you home… Then I don't think you're allowed to ambush me in my bedroom_" he said, jokingly, although thick hurt layered his tone.

Guilt flooded me, because I was the one causing him pain and I wanted more than anything to run over and wrap my arms around his muscular frame, to breathe in his scent of leather, bourbon and the forest that surrounded the boarding house. He was my anchor, he kept me rooted when all I wanted to do was let the wind take me, in the times when all I could do was cry, he held me, whispering soothing words of love and truth. I could never be with him. I had to let him go. So I laughed, although I could tell immediately that none of us were convinced. I turned to face him and he walked steadily towards me, his expression guarded.

"_I just… I just wanted to say thank you." _I take a shaky breath and strengthen my resolve_. "Whatever you did, it worked_."

His face saddened and a part of me shattered, almost as if he knew what was going to come next.

"_Well, I'm sorry to take you away from paradise_…" he almost whispered, voice cracking slightly on the last word.

He stood in-front of me now, looking at me as if his last statement was really a question, the answer to witch would make or break us. I made my voice wistful and sure; the visions that Stefan and I shared were amazing, but completely unrealistic and whilst Damon and I would never be happy, he needed to know that I needed _him_.

**_Damon's POV_**

She was quick to respond and it broke my heart.

"_It was paradise… actually."_

The girl I loved and cherished, the girl that had grown into a woman that I now wished was mine, was rubbing it into my face. We could never be together, although I wish with everything I have that it wasn't true. I didn't deserve her and I never had, maybe now she was only just starting to realise how much of a monster I was. I couldn't bare the thought of her with anybody else but me; not after spending the summer, loving and carefree. That summer was a long way away, a distant memory. We had each changed too much, lost too much and destroyed too much, together.

"_I told you, I don't want to know!" _I say forcefully.

And I really didn't.

"_But you need to know!" _she returns my tone of voice and I can feel my face crumple slightly, unable to stop her words from hurting me. As if my soul wasn't being tortured enough, she had the good grace to continue with her onslaught on how Stefan was the better choice. I sighed.

"_I saw the perfect life; Stefan and I were married, we had kids… It was everything we wanted."_

Oh, okay. They had planned a future together. This I did not want to think about. I wanted her to be happy and I would never hurt her, ever. But I couldn't handle it if Lena and Stefan got back together. I had finally met the 'universe', the curse was fake and I had let myself latch on to that tiny bit of hope that maybe, just maybe… she could forgive me.

"_Well, we can always ask Markos to put it back."_ I breathed, shaking my head at the turn of events; when all I wanted to do was kiss her, to forget about the travellers, to forget about everything and to lose ourselves in the hope that things will get better. To feel her soft lips pressed to mine, her body nestled close and out hands intertwined. It was a dream.

"_But it's not real. You and I? We're messy and complicated, but… we're real_" she cut into my encroaching thoughts.

No, we couldn't be together. I wouldn't change her and I wouldn't lose my brother. Whenever we broke up after getting back together, something bad happened; I killed Aaron, Katherine took over her body and we had guilt sex, after being cured of wanting to rip each other's throats out.

"_And really bad for each other. Did you forget that part?"_

It was her face that now crumpled, but my mind was made up.

"_Yeah, but I still need you in my life."_ she argued. It was futile, she didn't mean it in the way I secretly hoped.

"_As friends right?"_ I muttered, her answer clear in the silence that followed. _"…Right. No Elena, I can't be your friend, it's too damn hard."_

I turned away from her then, needing to gather myself for what I was about to say, but unable to look her in the eye, fearing that she would see that everything I said was a lie. She tried to reach out and I decided that it was now or never.

"Damon…"

"_No, I'm serious Elena! I can't see you anymore, I don't want to hear your voice, I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to look at you and I sure as hell don't want to be your friend."_

Every word out of my mouth hurt, not just her, but me to. I hated doing this, but it was the best thing for her. The time for friendship was over. I had managed to break past the friend-zone and I was never going back, even if that meant I would never see her again. I knew as soon as I thought it that it would be impossible. We were like magnets that attract. But I had to try. I owed it to her and myself to _try_ and move on, although I would never even contemplate moving, not while she was still alive. It looked as if she was also battling with mixed emotions, on the edge of crying. It took every drop of control not to go to her.

"If that's what you want?..." she said, confusion and hurt mixing to create a sound so heart-wrenchingly sorrowful. I swallowed.

"_That's what I want…"_ I lied.

She stood processing this and her faint 'okays' and 'yeahs' were lost on me. I had just sent away the most important person to me. The person that gave my life purpose.

**_Elena's POV_**

Stefan was right. I could either be a friend _or_ I could be in love.

I had just wrecked _both_.


End file.
